Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Randomize
