I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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