my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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