Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
