everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
