I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
