that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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