we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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