oh god the rape fog is back!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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