My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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