i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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