walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Panties = found
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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