return my video game
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
