Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
