dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
