I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm really into asian looking animals
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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