I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
