i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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