I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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