Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Randomize
