What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
