You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
wow bdsm is so cute
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
