I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
