it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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