i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
