I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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