you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i will never coherently bang her
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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