We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
pop tarts are not kleenex
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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