Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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