Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
