I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
last night I used snow as a chaser
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
