if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize