Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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