my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
