I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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