she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
