i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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