Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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