Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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