So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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