I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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