Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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