As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
