VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
