I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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