I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
