Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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