I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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