But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
