He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
