What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
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After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
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All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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