Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I need to sanitize my soul.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
