i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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