Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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