Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
