We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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