David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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