So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize